“Growing up with a love of campy horror chop-’em-ups and weird cult classics, I’ve developed a certain appreciation for the bizarre, the taboo, and the gruesome that probably far exceeds any normal person’s threshold for the stuff. But even so, I find Postal III’s sheer level of tastelessness for tastelessness’ sake off-putting. This is a game where AIDS-infected monkeys hump people’s faces, you’re tasked with slaughtering a gang of gay cowboy bikers riding Segways, and you can use a machete to decapitate pedestrians and then urinate on their corpses – or, alternately, light them on fire. Some of the game’s humor is clever, some of it is outright vile and disturbing. The surprising thing is, it’s Postal III’s slapdash gameplay and technical problems that I find the most offensive.”
Skyrim owns you. It is, as they say, everywhere you are. I don’t usually make a lot of time to play games just for shits and giggles in the middle of the holiday season coverage rush, but my craving for nerdy fantasy epicness overruled my better senses. I pre-ordered Bethesda’s latest jaunt in the Elder Scrolls saga on a whim. It arrived. I set it aside for a few days. Then I cleared my schedule for 24 hours, cracked open the cellophane wrap, inserted the disc into my Xbox 360, and BOOM: nerdgasm. Wizards! Glowing axes! Melting people’s faces off with jets of flame from my hand! YES!
But for all its grand quests and diversions, one of the things that I’m enjoying the most about Skyrim is the all the weird WTF moments that pop-up during my travels. With such a vast open world to explore, I’m finding myself prone to wandering around and getting into trouble rather than sticking to the main story line for any length of time. Here’s a short and snappy chronicle of some of my random oddball experiences in the game presented in easily digestible list form.