Skyrim owns you. It is, as they say, everywhere you are. I don’t usually make a lot of time to play games just for shits and giggles in the middle of the holiday season coverage rush, but my craving for nerdy fantasy epicness overruled my better senses. I pre-ordered Bethesda’s latest jaunt in the Elder Scrolls saga on a whim. It arrived. I set it aside for a few days. Then I cleared my schedule for 24 hours, cracked open the cellophane wrap, inserted the disc into my Xbox 360, and BOOM: nerdgasm. Wizards! Glowing axes! Melting people’s faces off with jets of flame from my hand! YES!
But for all its grand quests and diversions, one of the things that I’m enjoying the most about Skyrim is the all the weird WTF moments that pop-up during my travels. With such a vast open world to explore, I’m finding myself prone to wandering around and getting into trouble rather than sticking to the main story line for any length of time. Here’s a short and snappy chronicle of some of my random oddball experiences in the game presented in easily digestible list form.
“After spending a few years in high school obsessively collecting cards, building decks, and dueling pals during lunch and study hall, my relationship with Magic: The Gathering dropped into the abyss. That is, until Wizards of the Coast rekindled my addiction in a dangerous way with Duels of the Planeswalkers – a downloadable version that streamlined the tabletop fantasy card-battling experience while staying true to the spirit of the core game. Planeswalkers 2012 is an excellent follow-up that builds on its predecessor’s momentum, offering a fresh interface, lots of new cards for battling, and meatier gameplay options.”
“Rather than scrutinizing body counts, the number of villages burned to the ground, or the gruesomeness of accumulated battle scars, they say an evil overlord can measure his true worth by the amount of shiny gems he’s amassed. There’s nothing more undignified than having these precious baubles wrenched from your clawed grasp along with the fond memories they represent of victorious conquests long past. No, you’ve worked too hard for your treasure to let it go so easily. When greedy heroes come swarming towards your lair with a little smash and grab in mind, they must be punished most severely.”
“Countless hours spent tapping mana, summoning minions, strategically incanting spells, and trading cards with friends during study hall all came flooding back this month. Having once abandoned such pursuits long ago, the release of Magic: The Gathering – Duels of the Planeswalkers has once again opened Pandora’s Box. The faithful will be pleased, for the most part.”
“It’s super easy to get lost in the deep woods, which is why every smart forest-dwelling bohemian constructs a magical runestone teleportation system for their storage cave that’s oddly located several miles from their cozy abode. Unfortunately, even the most expertly constructed mystical transportation devices have a tendency to break down, and ancient teleporter repairmen are in short supply in the remote wilderness. If you’re too lazy to venture out into the dangerous forest on your own to fix it, what do you do? Get a furry friend to do it for you.”
Check out the full article here and IGN’s Green Pixels.